Whenever I have laundry to fold, I always find myself looking for other things to do. I wouldn’t even mind selecting beans, looking outside, watch a YouTube video on how to boil water, just anything else. I only remove them from the chair after they start getting creased and looking ghostly in the middle of the night.
And that’s exactly what I have been feeling for the past 8 months whenever I sit down to write. The motivation isn’t there anymore.
My Google search for the past 8 months has been mostly along the lines of: do dreams change, writing motivation, how to get back to writing, writing ideas, you get the drill. And people have been asking why I stopped writing and when I am writing a new article. The normal reaction to this question is a deep exhale out followed by an ‘I don’t know really.’
There’s a time not so long ago when I’d wake up every morning at 4 A.M. just to write. And I didn’t mind the fact that I was cutting my sleep off. Most of what I was writing then just ended up sitting in a folder labelled DRAFTS in my PC. I’d look at them sometimes and just look back how far I had come and the improvements I had made.
Amidst all the lack of motivation to write, I lost all my drafts – 3 years’ work man! It felt like my heart had been taken from my chest, still warm and beating, then a carving knife plunged into the aortic valve. Everything I had ever written was lost for good save for the few I had posted on my blog. And for a few months I thought that maybe writing wasn’t the thing for me and I shelved my notebooks far away.
And then I bumped into a photo on Instagram and remembered how at one point this is all I ever wanted. Sitting down to write is hard and lonely, and to write is to risk making a fool of yourself but that is exactly what I signed up for.
So yes, this is me starting over, but with experience.
Thank you for your time.
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